Trudging up that hill

So it turns out i needed this blog more than it needed me.

7 months ago, Mark and I went to a memorial, left a friend behind, and ended up in some cheese-dick Mexican place, drinking Newcastle (?) and shooting back some really good tequila. I wish ya could have been there Scott.

I've been racking my brain for the last 48 hours to try and understand how half of the only male people that I've ever let get even remotely close to me, could die within a year. Scott, this is up to us, buddy, if not for us...then for our sons.

Nicole, thank you...I know I must look like a train wreck to you, but without you, I'd be so much worse. So, please indulge me as i steal some meaning from another dude I really admire.....this is for me and you Scotty...



Ants Marching


He wakes up in the morning
does his teeth, bite to eat, and he's rolling
never changes a thing
the week ends the week begins, she thinks

We look at each other
wondering what each other is thinking
but we never say a thing
and these crimes between us grow deeper

Take these chances
place them in a box until a quieter time
lights down you up and die

Goes to visit his mommy
feeds him well, his concerns, he forgets them
and remembers being small
playing under the table and dreaming

Take these chances
place them in a box until a quieter time
lights down you up and die

Driving along this highway
all these cars..and up on the sidewalk
people in every direction
no words exchanged, no time to exchange at all

The little ants are marchin
black and red antannae waving
they all do it the same
they all do it the same way


Candyman tempting the thoughts of a sweet tooth tortured by weight loss
program cutting the corners loose end loose end cut cut on the fence could not
to offend cut cut cut cut cut...

Take these chances
place them in a box until a quieter time
lights down you up and die.

DAVE MATTHEWS-1994

Hang tough with me Scott.